I’m not mad

I have had 13 years to cope and deal with my situation. In fact, on Jake and I’s second date, I’m pretty sure I mentioned I couldn’t have kids. I said, “If you see this going somewhere, you should just know and be ok with it” It didn’t seem to bother him. I think that because I was so open and honest with him, it was easier for him to understand.

In his defense, he claims he wasn’t thinking about kids then, but he knew I was the one and said we would face the challenges as they come.

I sometimes have bridesmaids come to the store to be measured who are pregnant. Occasionally we get on the topic of kids and I am usually the first one to stay, “I’ll probably have twins.” And then we get started in this huge convo that is always so great. I’m an open book. It is so crazy how many other women I meet and talk to that have been or are going through IVF.

So, in other words, I’m not mad. It is what it is. I don’t envy women who can have kids. But yes, it does upset me how cruel people in the world can be to kids/babies and how people on welfare can pop out a million kids. Sometimes life isn’t fair. Sure, it would make things so much easier (and cheaper!), but these are the cards I was dealt. I am healthy. I am alive. I just need a little extra help in this department. It’s nothing I/we can’t handle.

xoxo

Kolby